Lunch
by Shaun Garin
Summary: Sometimes long lunches are a blessing to clear your head... Part 1 of the Paradox And I Trilogy


It was something that no one really noticed, but Mikuru would often slip away during the long lunch breaks. The SOS Brigade was more or less formed after school as was, and Mikuru had a lot of free time on her hands since lunches were unexpectedly long.

Pushing the door open to the nearby hamburger shop, Mikuru inhaled the smell of fries in the air and the sizzle of western-style burgers. It was the only place that she liked in this timeframe that knew how to cook food without creating the "Crunchy Burger Effect" that GI's on duty in Japan often referred to. Lord knows she knew that her superior officer often referred to his burger as "crunchy".

Mikuru ordered her usual: a small fries, a burger much too large with extra pickles and a shake. She moved to her usual table and sat down.

And just like clockwork, picked up a fry and dipped it into the shake, only to be interrupted by a familiar voice, also like clockwork.

"You know that just dilutes the taste," said the tall thin man who slid down in front of her, placing his own meal that he had ordered on time. But he too dipped his fries in his shake and Mikuru hid a smile. "Really though," added the stranger. "It was you who introduced me to this method of eating."

"I like to be efficient," replied Mikuru with a rare smile and without a stutter in her high voice.

"You know," remarked the man, "I'm surprised that little brigade of yours hasn't noticed you slip away out of campus every day for meals here."

"I'm surprised I haven't gained weight with our luncheons," replied Mikuru smartly. "And you seem to be, Paradox."

"Pish posh," scoffed the man named Paradox brandishing a fry laden with shake. "I haven't gained an ounce of fat and you know it!"

The fry dripped and the pair shared a laugh over the timing of it. "All right, I'll have you with that," snorted Paradox.

"So, how's the timeline?" asked Mikuru as she nibbled on a fry. Paradox rolled his eyes and she sighed. "That bad huh?"

"The WORST. Miss Asahina, you have no idea how easy it is sitting in one timeframe at any given moment. One moment you're spending a nice quiet afternoon feeding the ducks in London and the next thing you know, you're running for your life from a race of Space-Faring Canine Overlords. Really quite bothersome."

"When did that happen?" inquired Mikuru as she took a bite of her too-large hamburger.

"Mmph," replied Paradox, swallowing. "This morning. Your little club master had a fit, and almost made the future explode. Incidentally, you may want to look into that. I hear she's got some dresses she wants you in and it would be a GOOD IDEA not to say no."

Mikuru went red and she grumbled under her breath. Paradox patted her head and she rolled her eyes.

"Stop treating me like a kid," groused Mikuru.

"Dear girl you are a kid to me," replied Paradox smartly and Mikuru stuck her tongue out at him. He replied in kind and the pair shared a laugh.

Placing their trays together and dumping the wrappings, Paradox escorted Mikuru out of the building and sighed. "I sometimes miss these lazy days. Of course it doesn't last until one of your people calls me for an emergency."

"Miss Suzumiya is, well, troublesome," replied Mikuru, rubbing her head.

"Of course, and because it happens on my watch it will inevitably fall to me to deal with a possible explosion of immense proportions." Paradox sighed theatrically. "Watch, tomorrow I'll wake up to Planet of the Apes and then the afternoon will be wall-to-wall Alien vs. Predator."

"You could just quit," replied Mikuru and Paradox let out a short scoff and bark of a laugh. "Hey, we're perfectly capable of dealing with Haruhi!"

"Yes, I know. But only in the big picture. You people have no idea how to deal with the little things. One little world reset and your universe falls to pieces. Clearly though? It's been quite a fun trip here. I will miss it."

"You're leaving?" asked Mikuru and Paradox nodded. "Why?"

"There's a small opening of unfettered universe that I need to deal with. Small tricky thing and while I'm not a warden of the cosmos like the Doctor, I also have to deal with odd day-to-day things that cause problems. Little fires and all that. Oh, don't give me that look Mikuru, you won't even notice I'm gone!"

"Yes I will; you'll stop coming to lunch. And be one minute too early or late," replied Mikuru, pouting.

Paradox sighed. "Mikuru, how long have we known each other?" She opened her mouth but he held up a hand. "Rhetorical. Now, have you EVER known me to be late for anything?"

Mikuru could only shake her head and he smiled. "That's because dear girl, I've transcended time. I know what will be, what will happen, and as such, I have an innate timing of when we need to meet for lunch."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Mikuru waited for him the next day. Paradox showed up on time, but his order had changed from a chilli hamburger to a fish filet. When asked, he replied thickly, "If anyone asks about Mobius in your timeline, make sure to tell me BEFORE the Gene Bomb is dropped."


End file.
